I’d avoid the word vegan as much as possible around such folks - try saying “oh I don’t eat anything that comes from an animal” instead and see if that helps.
In my experience, it seems like “vegan” is the primary trigger word, and saying it without saying it helps avoid these situations. I also prefer the word “don’t” in “I don’t eat animals” over “can’t” or “won’t,” - “won’t” can make me sound like a picky eater, and “can’t” makes me sound like I’m not allowed to eat it for whatever reason, instead of it being my own personal choice.
It sucks having to walk on eggshells like this around your family, but when you have to be around them for whatever reason, what else can we do besides take the argumentative option?
I believe this to be the reason I don’t discuss it often. While I volunteer with the local fire station, the majority of my colleagues are elderly, heavily meat-loving individuals who often boast about their diets. I’ve stopped going to gatherings where the main course is food, such as the annual general meeting or the Christmas party, since I’d rather not have to deal with the embarrassment of having to justify not eating.
Declaring that you have an allergy seems to help people understand you better, in my experience. Saying you’re lactose intolerant, for instance, usually elicits a greater response when it comes to dairy products.
When they start saying things like “it’s so tasty” again, just tell them to enjoy their diabetes, cancer, and cardiovascular disease and laugh. Send them to Dr. Neal Barnard’s book on diabetes, Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn’s book on preventing and reversing heart disease, and T. Colin Campbell’s The China Study.
Another tactic is to point it out to them each time you witness them consuming vegan food that they are unaware of. a fruit piece? “You hypocrites!” French fries: “There’s no animal abuse in that food, how dare you!” (unless they’re accompanied with cheese or sauce). Consuming any old vegetable? “Cease that! You’re on the verge of consuming some vital micronutrients!”
If you equal or surpass their energy, they will quickly stop talking to you.
I’m sorry, but your family doesn’t have good eating habits. My family has had a few vegans, and everyone makes a special effort to ensure that they have a wide variety of food to choose from and that nothing mistakenly passes for vegan food.
Why the heck are they raising such a fuss when you’re not even attempting to force them to eat just plant-based food?
I quickly call out folks who are being dicks about my vegetarianism. "People claim that vegans are aggressive, but in my experience, it’s the other way around—every time I spend time with you, you attempt to impose your ideas on me. Please give up. If they continue, I receive more affirmative responses. “I have to leave if you don’t stop trying to ruin my dinner.” If they still don’t stop, simply get up and move your meal to your room or another private area upstairs.
To be honest, I have no idea what I would do in that circumstance. However, I would be more likely to introduce detailed animal suffering in a gentle, compassionate tone than to address a catastrophic natural disaster or aircraft accident.
Such like "Don’t you think it’s awful what happens to calves who are born to milk cows? Or, “Yes, it is so awful what farmers do to male baby chicks,” in the case of chickens. and so forth for any foisted animal products.