hey guys, it’s almost 3 am now and I can’t sleep. I just arrived at home from a weekend with my bf and his parents. My bf and me are both vegan, but whenever we meet up with his parents all they talk about is how they used to slaughter animals. I usually just try to ignore them which leads to me not talking to them at all which starts to get weird (they ask me if I’m tired). This visit my bf raised his voice, always countering their stupid talk. Sooner or later we will get into a huge fight. I want to get along with them but my patience is limited and i don’t want to meet them for the time being. That’s how I feel right now. They bought rabbits to eat again and bugged me that i should take a look at them (I don’t). It just feels like bullying at this point. I don’t know what to do…
Bullying is what it is. You’ll have to determine whether or not spending time with them is worthwhile.
Have you requested to shift the topic?
My ex’s mother had invited us to church, and the pastor had tailored the sermon to emphasize that although God has given us authority over animals, it is still acceptable to eat them. That was my last church experience.
It does sound bullying. Have you tried expressing your feelings to them? When it comes to visits, you might need to establish and enforce some boundaries. And maybe when you visit, don’t stay at their house.
Every now and then I go see my dad and his wife. They eat everything. They know I’m vegan and when we order takeaway etc they make sure I can have a vegan option. I eat mine, they eat theirs. Never do they bring up slaughtering animals or some like. That isn’t even remotely typical. If that was true, I would have got up from the table, grabbed my ass, and left.
Playing the fool might be amusing if you can resist taking the bait. Ask them to clarify their question and what they hope you will learn from it. Express your amazement that they believe that is a considerate thing to say or do for a visitor. Inform them that you feel uncomfortable with them, and if they don’t change their tune, walk out.
They are not attempting to be amicable with you. They don’t merit your constant attempts to get along with them.
In that circumstance, I would not have been able to contain myself. They seem like truly horrible individuals. Rather, I would go to where they were and, if they had pets, tell them how cute they were.
This brings back memories of the time my stepdad’s niece declared she was going vegetarian, becoming the third plant-based person in the family to do so. At that point, they thought it would be the ideal occasion to roast a whole newborn animal on Easter.
Bullying is what it is. They will argue that it’s just a fact of life and that there’s nothing wrong with it. You’re not a bad person or in the wrong if you desire to avoid them.
Don’t force yourself to get along with them since you’re not required to; by being around them, you’re simply doing yourself harm. They don’t seem to be going to alter their behavior either.