Got shut down talking about veganism on a date

his was my (23M) first time meeting her (21F) in person after matching on tinder. This conversation happened at the very end of the date as well as I was dropping her back off.

I usually don’t bring up veganism on the first date, other than telling them that I’m vegan and maybe explaining in a vague way why I choose to live the vegan lifestyle. However due to the already deep nature of our conversation I figured “what the hell, why not”. I started talking about how I think animal agriculture is a form of bigotry that is not only accepted by society but also practiced and supported by most people in society as well. She instantly got defensive saying that everyone chooses their battle so to speak, and that she chooses to not be vegan because “I like the way chicken tastes”. I then asked if she thought an animals life was worth more than her taste buds, while also elaborating on what chickens go through on animal farms. She proceeded to get rather annoyed with me, calling me judgmental and whatnot, clearly not wanting to understand my POV and the irrefutable facts that I was presenting to her. She also used sexism as a way to justify her not considering what I had to say, claiming that “well since sexism still exists in society, why should i do anything to stop my support of animals being tortured and killed”. It was all just cop out arguments and she became very uncomfortable very quickly, and it’s been made clear we won’t be seeing each other again

The whole thing was just frustrating not because she didn’t agree with my POV and just plain facts about what animals go through, but because she claimed to be this open-minded person who loves hearing about different POVs but as soon as she gets confronted with one, she handles it super poorly and proceeded to try to make me feel like shit. To me, talking about veganism is always a great way to see how strong a person really stands with their convictions and how open-minded they really are. Anyways, definitely just a rant but i figured I would share my experience in case anyone went though something similar on a date

I guess you should try dating vegans if you feel the need to bring up animal abuse during your first date. This is not the way to date omnivores if that’s your goal. This is not the way to date an omnivore if you intend to eventually go vegan, even if you want to date them now.

It seems that the only vegan you will get along with is another vegan. That is fine (but it complicates the process of finding dates). Could I be mistaken? You don’t have to respond, but consider the non-vegan person you might end up dating. Would they commit animal killing even though they agreed with your beliefs that it is wrong?

Accept Cupid. I don’t go out with non-vegans, and this app gives you the option to select between various lifestyles.

In all honesty, you’re probably not that compatible if their first response to the topic is to get defensive and say something like “she likes the taste of chicken.”

You handled this terribly, even just based on your version of events, which is surely going to present you in the best possible light. “I think animal agriculture is a form of bigotry” as an opening statement is just… wow. In what way did you anticipate her reaction to that?

Funny how you made fun of this stranger on a first date for not wanting to bring up the subject of animal slaughter right away. You sound so annoying. Do you believe you encouraged them to choose a vegan diet? Definitely not; in fact, due of the way you presented it, you’ve probably insured that one more person will never turn vegan. All it accomplished was to make YOU feel good.

This represents 95% of vegetarians and omnivores. They SHOULD feel uneasy about it. When confronted head-on with the terrible reality their lifestyle promotes, any good person would recoil. The majority of them are merely unable to handle the discomfort when it unexpectedly arises and snaps them out of their comfortable ignorance. The usual response is to divert attention and offer ludicrous justifications.

I’m hoping she’ll think about it and hold onto it for a little while longer.

On a first date, debating veganism won’t ever A) lead to a second date or B) convince your date to go vegan. Just don’t date non-vegans if you know you won’t be dating them.

If all someone does when you label them a bigot is tell you not to see them ever again, you can get away with it. Allowing insults from others does not equate to being open-minded. If you think the majority of people are bigots and you yourself are open-minded, you have a very limited perspective on the world.

You can get away with calling someone a bigot if all they do is warn you not to see them again. Being tolerant of insults from others does not mean having an open mind. You have a very narrow view of the world if you believe that most people are bigots but you yourself are open-minded.